One-Liner Wednesday – It Could Be Worse

Stepping into dog poop is one of life’s greatest admonitions for ingratitude.

 

Seriously. Have you ever stayed up into the wee hours of the morning working on a tough assignment, then had to wake up for work in like forty-five minutes? You’re cranky and exhausted as you shut down your alarm. You roll out of bed and head to the shower only to discover that the pipes are dry. You call your neighbour who confirms that there’s no water in the building because of blah blah blah, which you don’t care about because you have to shower with a cup of cold water. You get past that hurdle, walk into a mist of your best perfume, and put on your powder blue suit. As you “smize” in the mirror, you notice the long white streak going down your right sleeve, something you failed to see when you sleepwalked through doing your laundry a few nights before. The new outfit you choose is wrinkly but you have absolutely no time to iron it. You gather your things, run outside, sweat pouring down your back, pondering why nobody left you an inheritance and absent-mindedly step into dog poop. Suddenly, between the expletives and the smell, everything that went before has paled in comparison to this atrocity. Perspective, people, perspective.

 

[Image via Pixabay]

 

One-Liner Wednesday is hosted by Linda G. Hill.

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25 Comments

  1. noellekelly
    20th June 2017 / 4:02 pm

    Lol! Stepping in crap is good luck I hear

    • 20th June 2017 / 5:43 pm

      Doesn’t it depend on which foot steps in the doo-doo? I think here it’s good luck if your left foot steps in…I should make sure. 😀

  2. 20th June 2017 / 9:52 am

    Merde! (Hehe) But I mean, it could only go up from there, right? 🙂

  3. 20th June 2017 / 9:04 am

    heheheh I gotta love starting my daily blog reading with a heart-rending poop story. Cheers to you for all that you do-do (sorry that was pretty lame;) )

    • 20th June 2017 / 11:47 am

      It was lame but funny so I’ll approve it. HA!

  4. 16th June 2017 / 8:48 am

    OMG! Two Poop Stories in one morning! I just read one from Sick Christine (at least I think it was her) about bird poop on a Girl Trip. Go figure! (And yes, it can always be worse; just don’t want you to have to experience it) xoxo

  5. 15th June 2017 / 8:35 am

    It’s really the worst when it’s warm. ugh.

    • 15th June 2017 / 11:41 am

      YES! It could ALWAYS be worse.

  6. 14th June 2017 / 3:44 pm

    The only thing worse than stepping on dog poo is stepping in human poo. My mother did once.
    It was about 50 years ago when her & my dad were dating (Courting in those days). They were having a little snog in a gateway when mam realised she stood in poo. She did attempt to clean it but when she realised it wasn’t from an animal…..she kicked of her shoes and left them. Walked home barefoot!
    They’re still together

    • 14th June 2017 / 3:54 pm

      My word! What a story. You’ve proved my point – it could always be worse! I howled!!! Congrats to your parents on their decades of togetherness.

  7. josypheen
    14th June 2017 / 2:23 pm

    Urgh. There is nothing worse than treading in doggie poop. On a rainy day it is so much worse, all squishy!

    We used to live near dog poop alley in London. There must have been several owners that never picked up their dog poos on that street. I was always sooo careful on that particular road in the morning!

    • 14th June 2017 / 3:39 pm

      People can be so inconsiderate of others! And yes, squishy, rain-drenched dog poop is far worse. LOL!

  8. 14th June 2017 / 10:55 am

    That sounds like a seriously “bad hair” day. Time to go back to bed and get up on the right side.

    • 14th June 2017 / 11:19 am

      Every time we wake up, we’re on the right side. That’s what I’ve learnt. Got to be thankful that we’ve been blessed with another day. 🙂

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