Dear Diary

I have lost count of my numerous attempts at journaling. Once upon a time, I started a gratitude journal. I was very thankful for my imperfect life but after a while I was documenting the same things over and over, like my family, my health, lessons learnt, my insanely brilliant mind (kidding). Eventually, that journal withered away.

Then, I tried chronicling my dreams. I have really zany dreams. I closed my eyes for about five minutes on Saturday and dreamt that I was driving a Mercedes Benz C-Class sedan on the harsh, undulating earth of a psychedelically coloured planet. There was a huge shark in a fresh water pond that was far too small for said shark and a man named Tom whose role in all of this remains unclear. The trouble with dreams is that sometimes I remember every detail as soon as I open my eyes, but thirty seconds later, pen and paper in hand, I forget huge chunks, and this does not make for the detailed journaling of dreams. Strike two.

There was that time I decided that I should be more in touch with my feelings (this is what happens when I listen to people). I enjoy a good pity party every now and then (don’t we all?) but generally I don’t invest too much time and effort in feelings. If I’m offended or angered or happy, you’d know and I move on fairly quickly. However, in an attempt to soften up in the anger department, I decided to rein myself in and write about my feelings instead. Guess what? I found myself becoming angry twice and so that was the end of that.

 

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[Image via Pixabay]

I am also a chronic over thinker. Last year, I surpassed all of my previous thinking records. I thought about life, my purpose, romance, spirituality, humanity, my final research paper, winning the lotto without actually buying a ticket (ha!). My brain would not power down and leave me in peace. Journaling is supposed to help clarify thoughts and find focus. With a mind as wound up and cluttered as mine, one would think I’d have had great success this time around…but nah. Two months in and I’m bored.

Basically, I continue to journal because I vowed to journal every day in 2016 (this is why we shouldn’t make promises) and because I like writing in my cute Jane Austen themed journal. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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6 Comments

  1. 20th March 2016 / 11:27 pm

    I've tried to journal but hate re-reading my words. If I find old passages in buried notebooks, I rip them to shreds :/ Good on you for getting it going online. Keep it up!

    • 21st March 2016 / 10:03 pm

      Thanks, Cathy! I usually burn intimate thoughts that I committed to scraps of paper (it's that serious…lol). Just last night, I re-read some of my entries and I can't say that I was moved one way or the other. It felt like re-reading homework that I never wanted to do but I'm not giving up! 😀

  2. 9th March 2016 / 3:26 pm

    I never kept a journal, but was pleasantly surprise to see my niece journaling at around age 13. I read on line though that ' writing accesses your left brain, which is analytical and rational… while your left brain is occupied, your right brain is free to create, intuit and feel…. it removes mental blocks and allows you to use all of your brainpower to better understand yourself, others and the world around you'. Maybe it is because I do not write that I have a disconnect with my world 😉

    • 21st March 2016 / 10:00 pm

      Ha! Your last sentence made me laugh. I am still dutifully plodding along, writing in my journal…

    • 2nd March 2016 / 2:00 pm

      Hi Lilith. I applaud you. Have you kept up with journaling because you like writing or because you find it therapeutic?

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